Yesterday, I made the decision to quit smoking. I wouldn’t consider myself a heavy smoker. But, I have about a half a pack a day. But regardless, I know it’s going to be incredibly difficult so I figured I’d ease myself in a little bit. With the goal of being completely done with them in a week or two. So, yesterday I had one at 6:45 in the morning. I went all day at work without one, and easily, I might add. I had one at 5pm, and after I thought “I didn’t need that”. I wish I wouldn’t have had that one. The real test came when I got home. I tried to keep myself busy. I did dishes, cleaned the kitchen, made dinner and prepped lunches for my husband and I for the next day. And, I almost made it.
At one point Kruno came into the kitchen. Poor guy. He never saw it coming. “Babe! Listen, this is going to be really tough! I don’t know if I can do it! I don’t know how I’m going to do it! I’m going to sound real needy right now, but I need you to give me tough love. And a lot of positive reinforcement.” Kruno’s eyes had gotten real big by this point. I was erratic, loud and probably slightly dramatic. But I continued on. I told him that I needed encouragement, and often. And that I needed him to be mindful of timing. I told him that he should tell me things like “Hey, Darci. You’ve done so great today!” I stopped talking and there was a pause. He didn’t move. Frozen from fear I’m sure. Slowly he opened his mouth and in small, uncertain voice said “You’re doing so great, babe”. We both had a good laugh at how unconvincing he was.
After dinner, I gave in. I had one and it tasted awful. But I still liked the act. It’s hard to explain. I really enjoy the act of smoking. I find it so calming. And in the same breath (ha!) I also find it almost embarrassing. I get self-conscious when I smoke as I walk down the street. Or outside my office building. Times have changed so much. For the better, of course. But, it just seems like there is a stigma attached to it, that never really used to be.
Cigarette Count for 6/21/17 – 3
Today I woke up and didn’t have a cigarette. I didn’t have one in the morning, or when I drank my coffee, or even when I took a walk at lunch. And I still haven’t had one at 4:09, as I type this. I’m not going to promise I won’t have one today, but I’m going to try real hard not to.
Cigarette count for 6/22/17 – TBD
If anyone has any tricks or tips for me. I’d really love to hear them!