It’s been a month. One month today since the accident.
When I got the call that my brother had been in an accident. I immediately left for the hospital. It was the simultaneously the slowest and quickest drive there has ever been. I arrived, and found my way to the ICU floor. I was met by 2 nurses, later they said they knew who I was by the look on my face. They sat me down and explained the situation. It was bad, labeled as critical and life flight was used. I excused myself and waited for other family members to arrive. Later on, I was waiting at the ICU door waiting to get buzzed in, and someone came up next to me. They had a loved one that had been in the ICU for a few days. I was looking down at the floor and then I heard them say “The floor here reminds me of the yellow brick road. Ya know, from the “Wizard of Oz”. That’s my favorite movie. From that second on, I thought about the similarities from the movie to the situation that we were in.
I was the Scarecrow. Asking for a brain to figure everything out. Trying to learn the medical terms, which monitors mean what, blood pressures, oxygenation, medications.
I was the Lion. Asking for courage. Courage to be strong when others couldn’t be. Courage to help my brother with the unknown. Courage to believe that everything is going to be just fine.
I was not the Tin Man. My favorite quote from the movie is “hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable” My heart has felt more this past month than perhaps my whole life combined. It has been broken, mended, but mostly filled will love and gratitude.
And then there’s my brother, J.J.. Unfortunately for him, he is a girl in this analogy. He’s Dorothy. Wanting desperately to find his way home. He’ll be there soon.
“You’ve always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself”