I have surpassed the 200 follower mark.
While it may not have been a particularly lofty goal, it has been one that has long eluded me. The process was slow but boys oh boys, doesn’t it feel good.
I have never been a person who sets personal goals. I have never strived for anything in particular. Any sort of feat or accomplishment. And it is truly one of my only regrets in life. I wish I had tried harder to be good at something. I wish I had made more of an effort in school, or hobbies, or sports. I wish so badly that I hadn’t given up on so so many things that didn’t come natural to me. But, c’est la vie.
So, this is it. This is what I want to be good at. Writing. Story Telling, Blogging. Creating relevant material that people enjoy. I don’t know where it will lead or what it will become. And that’s ok.
Time to move the goalposts.
What is your goal? If you allowed yourself to dream wildly, what would be the ultimate end result of your blog? When would the feeling of success creep in? With a certain number of followers? Maybe revenue from advertisment? Or even a small amount of name notarity?
I told my husband that my blog post from yesterday had done particularly well. So well in fact, that it suprassed a super duper top-secret goal I had set for myself. YOU were the reason I achieved it. So, thank you. My husband jokingly said this morning “well, now you just need to become famous and make money from it”. And it’s got me to thinkin’…..
What is my aspiration? My desired outcome?
My answer is almost too embarrassing to admit . And there are many facets to it. My husband has an entrepenureal spirit, he sees opportunity everwhere. I admire that. However, when it comes to something this personal – something that demands such vunerability; constant caution and extreme modesty seem to be the norm. Do you allow yourself to reveal your goals? To honestly state your ambitions? Yikes. Thats a risk. A gamble I dont know if I can stomach.
I worry. I’m a worrier by nature. But when it comes to this blog, as I’ve talked about many times, I worry what people think. That’s why it’s so hard to type what my wildest dream would be. What if people read it and think to themselves “That would never happen. She isn’t good enough.” Granted, I’d never know if that were to be the case. Most people are too kind to say those sorts of things. But, thats where my head goes. More than anything else, that is the biggest obsticle in my path. And I’ve done it to myself.
Goals are a moving target. Sometimes you miss your mark. But if you’re lucky, you achieve it and set another. You just need to get out of her own way to see how it plays out.
Well well well. Today marks 2 weeks of blogging. To most that doesn’t mean much, and I’m sure in a few months, it won’t to me either. But today, right now, it feels like an accomplishment. I’ve gotten over the initial hurdle of nerves and worry about putting myself out there. I feel like I’ve set a stride that’s comfortable but challenging. I don’t post if I have nothing to say. But try to take a few minutes everyday to just sit and think. Think if there is something that I’m going over that I could put down here, and if that would help free up my mind a little. Today, there is. There is this one thing I’m kind of hung up on.
How much is too much info? How personal can/should a post be?
I had lunch yesterday with a friend and I mentioned the blog to him. Like I have done to literally anyone who would listen to me these past 2 weeks. We started talking about how difficult it is to write about some personal experiences. And about how much bravery it takes to write about your life. At first, I thought, it doesn’t take that much. It’s not a big deal. Then I thought about how this populates to my Facebook account. While that’s a setting I have chosen, it does cause me to second guess somethings. I hesitate before writing and posting. The fear that people you know may read something very personal about you is, in fact, really scary. It’s not the strangers or the once-in-a-while glancers, but the people you are friends with, or even the people you see on occasion.
That leads to the next question that I’m surely over analyzing. How much bravery in the realm of blogging is an acceptable amount?
I certainly would never write something with the intentions of offending someone or to purposely make someone feel uncomfortable. But one of the primary purposes of a blog is to share your life with others. Not just the pretty surface stuff, but the tough stuff that can sometimes be ugly and heavy. The kind of stuff that maybe could help someone through a difficult time or situation. Or even sharing a particular story that could potentially connect you to someone who’s been through what you’re going through and offer insight.
I’ve had a post in the hopper now for a few days that I’ve been wanting to publish (I hate that term, it makes so unnecessarily official. But that’s what they call it). And every time I’ve looked at it and wanted to hit the button, I’ve hesitated. And I’ve gone back and forth on whether to post it or not. I worry that it’s too much. Too personal. As people and social media evolve things that were once taboo, are becoming the norm. Things that would once send a religious person straight to confession are commonplace and barely warrant acknowledgement.
So, here I am. Asking you. What’s your opinion on the matter? What are you comfortable writing and reading? I need some guidance.
“Writing is both a mask and unveiling” – E.B. White