I Want To Be A Quitter

Yesterday, I made the decision to quit smoking.  I wouldn’t consider myself a heavy smoker. But, I have about a half a pack a day. But regardless, I know it’s going to be incredibly difficult so I figured I’d ease myself in a little bit. With the goal of being completely done with them in a week or two. So, yesterday I had one at 6:45 in the morning.  I went all day at work without one, and easily, I might add.  I had one at 5pm, and after I thought “I didn’t need that”.  I wish I wouldn’t have had that one. The real test came when I got home. I tried to keep myself busy.  I did dishes, cleaned the kitchen, made dinner and prepped lunches for my husband and I for the next day.  And, I almost made it.

At one point Kruno came into the kitchen.  Poor guy.  He never saw it coming.  “Babe! Listen, this is going to be really tough!  I don’t know if I can do it!  I don’t know how I’m going to do it!  I’m going to sound real needy right now, but I need you to give me tough love.  And a lot of positive reinforcement.”  Kruno’s eyes had gotten real big by this point. I was erratic, loud and probably slightly dramatic.  But I continued on. I told him that I needed encouragement, and often. And that I needed him to be mindful of timing. I told him that he should tell me things like “Hey, Darci. You’ve done so great today!”  I stopped talking and there was a pause. He didn’t move. Frozen from fear I’m sure.  Slowly he opened his mouth and in small, uncertain voice said   “You’re doing so great, babe”.  We both had a good laugh at how unconvincing he was.

After dinner, I gave in.  I had one and it tasted awful.  But I still liked the act. It’s hard to explain.  I really enjoy the act of smoking.  I find it so calming.  And in the same breath (ha!) I also find it almost embarrassing.  I get self-conscious when I smoke as I walk down the street. Or outside my office building.  Times have changed so much. For the better, of course. But, it just seems like there is a stigma attached to it, that never really used to be.

Cigarette Count for 6/21/17 – 3

Today I woke up and didn’t have a cigarette.  I didn’t have one in the morning, or when I drank my coffee, or even when I took a walk at lunch. And I still haven’t had one at 4:09, as I type this.  I’m not going to promise I won’t have one today, but I’m going to try real hard not to.

Cigarette count for 6/22/17 – TBD

If anyone has any tricks or tips for me.  I’d really love to hear them!

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9 Comments

  1. Toughest habit in the world to quit! I smoke. I have quit before, but am currently smoking. Kudos to you for trying! I wish you the best.

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    1. I’m only a week in, but so far I totally agree with you! Last Tuesday night, I made a desicion to quit and I honestly thought it was going to be much harder than this. I barely think about it. There’s only been a few times (stress induced) that I have reeaally wanted one. But it passed just as quick as it came on.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I smoked 2 packs a day. My husband nor my children ever smoked (Thank Goodness) When my 10-year-old granddaughter was born I tried V2-Ecig. The vapor kind. I ordered it on line tried it when it arrived and haven’t touched a cigarette since. Best thing I ever did. I just like the idea of inhaling and holding the cig in my hand. It worked for me. Best of luck on your quest to rid yourself of smoking. You’re doing great so far. ☺☺☺

    Liked by 1 person

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