Posted in addiction, Health, life, Quit Smoking, Uncategorized

I Want To Be A Quitter

Yesterday, I made the decision to quit smoking.  I wouldn’t consider myself a heavy smoker. But, I have about a half a pack a day. But regardless, I know it’s going to be incredibly difficult so I figured I’d ease myself in a little bit. With the goal of being completely done with them in a week or two. So, yesterday I had one at 6:45 in the morning.  I went all day at work without one, and easily, I might add.  I had one at 5pm, and after I thought “I didn’t need that”.  I wish I wouldn’t have had that one. The real test came when I got home. I tried to keep myself busy.  I did dishes, cleaned the kitchen, made dinner and prepped lunches for my husband and I for the next day.  And, I almost made it.

At one point Kruno came into the kitchen.  Poor guy.  He never saw it coming.  “Babe! Listen, this is going to be really tough!  I don’t know if I can do it!  I don’t know how I’m going to do it!  I’m going to sound real needy right now, but I need you to give me tough love.  And a lot of positive reinforcement.”  Kruno’s eyes had gotten real big by this point. I was erratic, loud and probably slightly dramatic.  But I continued on. I told him that I needed encouragement, and often. And that I needed him to be mindful of timing. I told him that he should tell me things like “Hey, Darci. You’ve done so great today!”  I stopped talking and there was a pause. He didn’t move. Frozen from fear I’m sure.  Slowly he opened his mouth and in small, uncertain voice said   “You’re doing so great, babe”.  We both had a good laugh at how unconvincing he was.

After dinner, I gave in.  I had one and it tasted awful.  But I still liked the act. It’s hard to explain.  I really enjoy the act of smoking.  I find it so calming.  And in the same breath (ha!) I also find it almost embarrassing.  I get self-conscious when I smoke as I walk down the street. Or outside my office building.  Times have changed so much. For the better, of course. But, it just seems like there is a stigma attached to it, that never really used to be.

Cigarette Count for 6/21/17 – 3

Today I woke up and didn’t have a cigarette.  I didn’t have one in the morning, or when I drank my coffee, or even when I took a walk at lunch. And I still haven’t had one at 4:09, as I type this.  I’m not going to promise I won’t have one today, but I’m going to try real hard not to.

Cigarette count for 6/22/17 – TBD

If anyone has any tricks or tips for me.  I’d really love to hear them!

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