Category: blogging

Surviving Succulents – Part Two

I had no idea there was going to be a “Part Two” when I wrote the original.  But here we are.

Guys!  What I wrote about in the original post almost happened (If you’ve just started reading my blog, you can find the original here).  I almost gave up.  My blog hit a bump in the road and I wavered.  I have been counting the days since my last post, but couldn’t bring myself to write anything.  And here’s why.

Do you ever have an idea or vision of how you want something to play out.  Or how you want something to look?  We’ve all seen those “10 epic pinterest fails” lists of people who try to create or recreate something amazing that they’ve seen and have come up so very embarrassingly short.

When something doesn’t quite seem to be turning out the way I had envisioned, I immediately start a quiet downward spiral.  Most of the time, when this happens nobody can see this slippery slope of doubt and over-thinking.  It sneaks up on you. Even I find myself being surprised by its onset.  I try to fight through it.  Find a way around it.  Fix it.  But more times than not, it gets the better of me.  I can’t get past my shortcoming.

Let me give you an example:  Kruno’s parents had been looking forward to a traditional American Thanksgiving.  And I had the added pressure (all internal) of transporting the meal to Boston the next day to celebrate with JJ, my dad, and aunt Nanette.  I had imagined a Norman Rockwell-esq presentation at both my house and the hospital.  However realistic or unrealistic it was.  I had a vision.  I prepped two separate turkeys, one for each day.  I timed out everything perfectly and at the second basting session, when I removed the roaster lid, all I saw was bone.  I had cooked both turkeys upside down.  Kruno’s mom was beside me to watch as I prepared the most important meal of year.  She saw the horror on my face and the tears in my eyes.  The Norman Rockwell scene in my mind disintegrated just as the bottom half of the turkey’s had.  Lots of expletives started flowing out of my mouth. Along with sentences like “I ruined it, I ruined Thanksgiving.” and “How did I mess this up so badly?”

The turkey was delicious.  I didn’t ruin Thanksgiving.  It just wasn’t presentation worthy. But, that small detail, the vision of this beautiful whole turkey being presented on my grandmothers antique turkey platter, and not being able to have that image come to fruition, was enough to send me down that spiraling slippery slope.

So, back to my blogging bump in the road.

Two weeks ago I had an idea.  I wanted my blog to have it’s very own page for recipes.  My grandmother was a fantastic cook, my mother and aunt inherited her intuition and I like to think that I did too.  I reached out to my family for their copies of her recipes and was ready to start editing in a couple of days. I logged on.  I fiddled with the settings in WordPress, sought assistance through the handy “chat now” feature and researched everything I could find on relevent topics.  For days and days I tried to figure it out.  I knew how I wanted my site to look, and how I wanted it to read.  But everything I read and all the helpful chat people told me what I wanted wasn’t possible.  I couldn’t get passed it.  I’ve had several posts I’ve wanted to publish, but because of this hiccup, I couldn’t.  I even turned off my Facebook setting, so my friends couldn’t see what I was doing.  I didn’t want them to see if I made a mistake or if something looked weird.

Well, I figured it out today.  I fought my way up that damn slippery slope. I rose to the top and compromised on my vision.  My site is still under construction, but the template it set.  Content will be added soon.  And I’m happy.  Not just with the website, but that I didn’t give up.  I’ve given up on far too many things.  Too many ideas and projects.  But not today.

 

 

The Good and Bad in Goodbye

There are many ways to say “Goodbye”.  It can have many different undertones.  It can be sad or even happy in some cases, and other things in between.

My brother has hit a milestone in recovery from his work accident. After 46 days in the hospital, he has been transferred to rehabilitation in Boston. There, he will get his first prosthetic and soon start walking again.  We have been preparing for this day since he was out of the ICU.

J.J. doesn’t remember much of the ICU.  How could he?  When they first brought him in, he was hooked up to multiple machines and had 19 different bags of fluids hanging from what the nurses called his “Christmas tree”. As they days went on, and specifically after the amputation, periodically the nurses would come in and trim the tree. And soon enough he was down to barely a shrub.  During his stint in the ICU, those nurses were his lifeline.  They were our lifeline.  They barely left his room.  We relied on them for everything.  And they never did disappoint.

The day that J.J. was moved from the ICU to a regular room was one of those confusing types of goodbyes I’m talking about.  We said goodbye to our lifelines, and cried a little.  It was tough.  The uncertainty of it. What this new floor, with the new nurses was going to bring.

These men and women were every bit as amazing as the last bunch.  The nurses seemed to love J.J. like a member of their family.  Some brought him in homemade food. They hung out with him in the middle of the night when he couldn’t sleep.  They checked in on him even when he wasn’t assigned as their patient.  J.J. loved them too.  He had a system, how he liked things. Certain pillows in certain places on the bed.  All the nurses knew this secret, sometimes unspoken system, and obliged.  If they were ever bothered or annoyed by his requests, they certainly didn’t let on.

On Friday November 18th, J.J. was told that he was ready for Spaulding. He would leave Monday morning.  I asked him a few times if he was excited.  He response was always the same.  “Yes and no.”  I know the decision to leave CMMC was a hard one for him.  But his case worker assured him that Spaulding was the place to be.  That Sunday, we said goodbye to a couple of our favorite nurses.  Shelby, Kristen and Abby.  I started to cry, and so did they.  J.J. said “way to go, Darc.”

Monday came, more goodbyes were said.  I’m sure there were fewer tears considering I wasn’t there. They loaded him into the ambulance and headed to Boston. He’ll be at Spaulding for about 4-6 weeks.  The facility is amazing.  It’s a state of the art, futuristic looking place right on the harbor.  While the first day was tough, just getting accustomed to their way of doing things, J.J. knows this is where he needs to be.  And in time, saying goodbye to the people here will be just like before.

To all his nurses at CMMC, we miss you terribly!

 

 

Macedonians in Maine: An Interview

I met my husband, Krunoslav on Match.com.  He worked 7 days a week and I worked at a busy Irish Pub.  We both had odd schedules that didn’t afford either of us many opportunities to meet a potential girlfriend/boyfriend.  He sent the first message, I noticed his name was not an American one.  He said he was from Macedonia and that he liked soccer.  I made up a story about needing some info about soccer for something I was working on for the pub. And within only a couple of messages our first date was arranged.  It went well.  So well in fact, we met again the next night.  He watched “Glee” with me and I helped him deliver papers at midnight.  And as they say, the rest is history.

The first time I met his parents was when they made the long trip from Macedonia to Denver for our wedding. Their names spelled phonetically are Nikola and Kruno’s mom is Blageetsa. His mother speaks english “little bit” as she says.  She speaks it better than she thinks.  And his dad can say a few words.  It’s amazing what you can tell about someone without speaking.  Just by observing a single moment.  As I walked towards them coming out of the international arrivals gate, I knew that they were lovely people.

Well, the In-Laws have arrived for another visit.  We have been looking forward to it for months.  For the last few days I have been thinking about what to post.  And this morning it came to me.  An interview with my in-laws.  I wasn’t sure how the request was going to translate.  But, they agreed and thanks so my wonderful husband and his translation services, it went very well.

Q: How did you meet?

B: We met at a party at a restaurant.  We were introduced by friends.

Q: Do you remember your first date?

N: Not the specifics, but it lasted awhile.  It was the next day after the party and we had our first kiss.

Q:What is Skopje, Macedonia like?

N: It’s very historical (dates back to 4000 b.c.) . Similar to the Old Port portion of Portland.  Our house is in the Suburbs of the capital, Skopje. It’s a very tight-knit community.  Learn more about Skopje, Macedonia Here.

Q: What are some customs or traditions of Macedonia during the holidays?

B: On Christmas Eve (usually on or around January 7th as they use the orthodox calendar), we make a loaf a bread and put a coin in it.  When we sit down to dinner we each take a piece, and also have a piece for family afar and Jesus.  Whoever gets the piece with the coin, it will be their lucky year.  For us Christmas isn’t about presents, it’s about family and emphasis is on the meal with family.  On August 2nd, we celebrate our Independence from Turkey. It’s like your 4th of July.

Q: What is the biggest difference between your country and the US?

B & N: How friendly people are here.  Whenever you go into a shop or store.  People greet you.  They say “hello” and “how are you”.  People don’t do that in Skopje.  The other thing, is that people seem so busy here.  We work either the same or more hours per week back home, but aren’t always in a hurry.  We have time to spend with family and friends.  Back home, families only have 1 car.  Here, everyone has a car to get where they need to go quickly.

Q: What is your favorite thing about Macedonia?

N:  Family.  Not just the family as in people but the sense of family and community.  Kruno added – Our country was recently in a way.  It went though a very hard time and what got people through that, was family.  It’s very important there.

What is the hardest part of international travel?

B: Being bored on the long flight.

N: Blageetsa being bored on the flight.  She kept getting up and moving around.

~ They did add, that being in the last row was nice.  It seemed a little less cramped then the other flight.  I asked if they minded the long wait to disembark the plane.  They both agreed that it wasn’t a big deal.  They are far more patient than I.

What has been your favorite thing you’ve eaten while in the US?

B:  Yummy Chicken (A family recipe of mine, find it here)

 

It’s interesting how a short visit with someone can give you so much perspective.  How different families and different cultures go through life.  I always thought that my family was an affectionate group.  We pale in comparison.  The love my in-laws have to give is immeasurable.  When they said during the interview how important family is, it was an understatement.  They love with their whole hearts, their whole being.  I can’t count how many times I’ve been told “I love you” Or “Kristinia (kruno’s sister) says she loves you”. And it’s not just me.  It’s to all members of my family, and friends.  People they have only met one, maybe two times.  Their second day here, they asked to go see my brother in the hospital.  They talk about him everynight.  They’ll ask how he is doing today, if I’ve talked to him. They’ll tell me how much they love him and that they pray for him. They share memories of their first trip here and the people they met.  How our friends are lovely people, and how nice they were, how much love they have for them because they are our friends. The language barrier is tricky to navigate, but when sharing a feeling they are able to communicate with ease.

I knew it the first time I met them and I know it now.  They are some of the most kind, generous and loving people I have ever met.  And I am so very lucky to have the Petrov family as my in-laws.  I couldn’t have asked for better.

 

 

 

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The Petrov’s First Thanksgiving!

 

 

 

Bravery in the blogging world.

Well well well.  Today marks 2 weeks of blogging.  To most that doesn’t mean much, and I’m sure in a few months, it won’t to me either.  But today, right now, it feels like an accomplishment.  I’ve gotten over the initial hurdle of nerves and worry about putting myself out there.  I feel like I’ve set a stride that’s comfortable but challenging.  I don’t post if I have nothing to say. But try to take a few minutes everyday to just sit and think.  Think if there is something that I’m going over that I could put down here, and if that would help free up my mind a little.  Today, there is.  There is this one thing I’m kind of hung up on.

How much is too much info?  How personal can/should a post be?

I had lunch yesterday with a friend and I mentioned the blog to him.  Like I have done to literally anyone who would listen to me these past 2 weeks.  We started talking about how difficult it is to write about some personal experiences. And about how much bravery it takes to write about your life.  At first, I thought, it doesn’t take that much.  It’s not a big deal.  Then I thought about how this  populates to my Facebook account.  While that’s a setting I have chosen, it does cause me to second guess somethings.  I hesitate before writing and posting.  The fear that people you know may read something very personal about you is, in fact, really scary.  It’s not the strangers or the once-in-a-while glancers, but the people you are friends with, or even the people you see on occasion.

That leads to the next question that I’m surely over analyzing.  How much bravery in the realm of blogging is an acceptable amount?

I certainly would never write something with the intentions of offending someone or to purposely make someone feel uncomfortable.  But one of the primary purposes of a blog is to share your life with others. Not just the pretty surface stuff, but the tough stuff that can sometimes be ugly and heavy.  The kind of stuff that maybe could help someone through a difficult time or situation.  Or even sharing a particular story that could potentially connect you to someone who’s been through what you’re going through and offer insight.

I’ve had a post in the hopper now for a few days that I’ve been wanting to publish (I hate that term, it makes so unnecessarily official.  But that’s what they call it).  And every time I’ve looked at it and wanted to hit the button, I’ve hesitated.  And I’ve gone back and forth on whether to post it or not.  I worry that it’s too much.  Too personal. As people and social media evolve things that were once taboo, are becoming the norm.  Things that would once send a religious person straight to confession are commonplace and barely warrant acknowledgement. 

So, here I am.  Asking you.  What’s your opinion on the matter?  What are you comfortable writing and reading?  I need some guidance.

“Writing is both a mask and unveiling” – E.B. White

 

Survivng Succulents

 

I have this terrible habit of getting excited about something like a project, starting it and never finishing it.  Like wanting to start an indoor succulent garden for example.  I bought the plants, the special dirt, pots.  The whole shebang. I put them in the garage with the intent of planting and caring for them.  But, there they sit.  Dead.

I believe this is one of my greatest faults.  I know it drives my husband absolutely crazy. I’ll have, what I consider to be, a great idea.  Convince my husband that it’s a great idea. Start the project.  And that is generally where the story ends.  He is always very supportive, god love him.  But I think that maybe he is kinda over it at this point.

I’ve mentioned this new blogging venture to him a few times expecting some sort of response.  I’ve got nothing in return.  Barely a nod of the head.  I worry that I’ve used up all my “great idea” chips.  So now, this blog not only has become a creative outlet but a “finish what I start” challenge.  But that’s the thing about blogs.  There is no such thing as a finish line.  It can go on forever!  It’s a little daunting, let me tell ya.

For the other bloggers out there, do you remember when you got your first like? or follower?  Man oh man, it was the biggest adrenaline rush I’ve had in a long time. It feels so validating and gratifying.  To have proof that someone somewhere has read what you’ve written.  It’s such a motivator.  I literally couldn’t even guess how man times a day I look at my stats.  Too much, I’m sure.  That amazing little “stats” button is what is going to get me through the days where I think “Nah, I don’t need to do a blog post today, or this week, or month”.  So here’s another post, with many many more to come.

Tell my husband.  Darci says “I’m all in!”

And don’t forget…  I’m also just a girl, writing a blog, asking for you to love her…. posts.

Decision 2016: What’s my blog about.

I’ve only told a hand full of people about this blog.  I’m nervous.  I am my own worst critic and I’m concerned that my writing isn’t particularly good.  All of my friends and family would be very kind and probably far too generous with their critiques if I were to send the link. But I’ve told a few close friends.

This is how my interactions with people have been so far.

Me  – “Hey So and So, I started a blog and I’m super excited about it”

So and So – “Awesome, what’s it about?”

Me – ..…blink…blink. “Dear god, I have no idea”

or

Me – “Well, it’s kinda hard to explain. I’ve got a lot of things going on that I’m wanting to write about.  So I think I’ll be whittling it down as I go.

or

Me – “Lots of things.”

From the research I’ve done, none of these are acceptable answers in the world of successful blogging.   There are so many resources out there for new bloggers. I mean, a treasure trove of info at our literal finger tips. And then you have to keep in mind successful tags and categories, and which are trending at that very second and this and that and other things and whats SEO, and I don’t know how to creat a page let alone what to put on the page.  It’s intense and intimidating. But here I am.  Blogging til my heart’s content.  However, I did think it would be helpful if I made a list of things that I’d eventually like to focus on within this blog.

  • Home and lifestyle – My husband and I recently bought a house.  It was quite my style and we’re slowing working towards making it our own. We are also planning on starting a family soon but just about any legal means necessary.
  • Food and Recipes –  Because of a recent medical situation, our household needs to focus on more of a plant-based diet.  For someone who doesn’t love veggies, it should be interesting.
  • Writing and Blogging – While I’ve only been doing this for a short time, I am really enjoying it.  The other night I got 2 new followers, my adrenaline was through the roof and it took hours for me to fall asleep. It is a thrill!
  • App Building.  I’d really like to learn how to do that. I’ve got some idea’s.

This is the short list.  I could come up with lists within these lists. But that’s for another post.  For the time being, I’ll just send this message into the blogosphere.