Well well well. Today marks 2 weeks of blogging. To most that doesn’t mean much, and I’m sure in a few months, it won’t to me either. But today, right now, it feels like an accomplishment. I’ve gotten over the initial hurdle of nerves and worry about putting myself out there. I feel like I’ve set a stride that’s comfortable but challenging. I don’t post if I have nothing to say. But try to take a few minutes everyday to just sit and think. Think if there is something that I’m going over that I could put down here, and if that would help free up my mind a little. Today, there is. There is this one thing I’m kind of hung up on.
How much is too much info? How personal can/should a post be?
I had lunch yesterday with a friend and I mentioned the blog to him. Like I have done to literally anyone who would listen to me these past 2 weeks. We started talking about how difficult it is to write about some personal experiences. And about how much bravery it takes to write about your life. At first, I thought, it doesn’t take that much. It’s not a big deal. Then I thought about how this populates to my Facebook account. While that’s a setting I have chosen, it does cause me to second guess somethings. I hesitate before writing and posting. The fear that people you know may read something very personal about you is, in fact, really scary. It’s not the strangers or the once-in-a-while glancers, but the people you are friends with, or even the people you see on occasion.
That leads to the next question that I’m surely over analyzing. How much bravery in the realm of blogging is an acceptable amount?
I certainly would never write something with the intentions of offending someone or to purposely make someone feel uncomfortable. But one of the primary purposes of a blog is to share your life with others. Not just the pretty surface stuff, but the tough stuff that can sometimes be ugly and heavy. The kind of stuff that maybe could help someone through a difficult time or situation. Or even sharing a particular story that could potentially connect you to someone who’s been through what you’re going through and offer insight.
I’ve had a post in the hopper now for a few days that I’ve been wanting to publish (I hate that term, it makes so unnecessarily official. But that’s what they call it). And every time I’ve looked at it and wanted to hit the button, I’ve hesitated. And I’ve gone back and forth on whether to post it or not. I worry that it’s too much. Too personal. As people and social media evolve things that were once taboo, are becoming the norm. Things that would once send a religious person straight to confession are commonplace and barely warrant acknowledgement.
So, here I am. Asking you. What’s your opinion on the matter? What are you comfortable writing and reading? I need some guidance.
“Writing is both a mask and unveiling” – E.B. White
I’m superstitious. I can’t help myself. As I get older it seems to be getting worse. The other day it was raining pretty hard and a co-worker asked to use my umbrella. This co-worker has been known to leave an umbrella open inside to let it dry. I don’t approve and have voiced that opinion. He tries to appeal to the logic of it, and I won’t have it. Anyway, I was nervous about him using it. It was a surgery day for my brother. I watched the door for him to come back in. He came back with it closed and I breathed a sigh of relief. He brought it back to my desk, and I forget exactly how it played out but I thought he was going to open it to dry. I just about came out of my skin. I yelled at him a little bit. “Are you crazy?!? JJ is in surgery! Don’t you dare open that in here!” Did I overreact? Possibly. JJ’s procedure went fine. Had the umbrella been opened indoors, would it have changed anything? Who knows… I do. Of course it wouldn’t have. But my feeling is generally – let’s not take any chances.
And when it comes to the NFL season, it is even more prevalent. I’m a Cincinnati Bengals fan. There, I said it. I love ’em. Can’t get enough of Marvin Lewis and the whole gang. I have done the organization a great disservice this season. You see, I have drank coffee out of the same bengals mug every Saturday since my husband bought it for me 4 seasons ago (side note, the bengals season has gotten better since then) A few weeks ago, when the accident happened it really screwed up my coffee drinking schedule. I wasn’t able to drink out of the mug for a few Saturdays, resulting in a couple of loss’s. So, to the entire Bengals organization. I’m sorry.
I also wear bengals attire on Sunday’s. but, weeks like this pose a dilemma. The Bengals play on Monday night. What’s a super superstitious gal to do? I went with my gut. I drank out of the mug yesterday, wearing a bengals t-shirt today and will wear my jersey tomorrow. It’s the only logical thing to do.
“Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere” – Albert Einstein.
I have this terrible habit of getting excited about something like a project, starting it and never finishing it. Like wanting to start an indoor succulent garden for example. I bought the plants, the special dirt, pots. The whole shebang. I put them in the garage with the intent of planting and caring for them. But, there they sit. Dead.
I believe this is one of my greatest faults. I know it drives my husband absolutely crazy. I’ll have, what I consider to be, a great idea. Convince my husband that it’s a great idea. Start the project. And that is generally where the story ends. He is always very supportive, god love him. But I think that maybe he is kinda over it at this point.
I’ve mentioned this new blogging venture to him a few times expecting some sort of response. I’ve got nothing in return. Barely a nod of the head. I worry that I’ve used up all my “great idea” chips. So now, this blog not only has become a creative outlet but a “finish what I start” challenge. But that’s the thing about blogs. There is no such thing as a finish line. It can go on forever! It’s a little daunting, let me tell ya.
For the other bloggers out there, do you remember when you got your first like? or follower? Man oh man, it was the biggest adrenaline rush I’ve had in a long time. It feels so validating and gratifying. To have proof that someone somewhere has read what you’ve written. It’s such a motivator. I literally couldn’t even guess how man times a day I look at my stats. Too much, I’m sure. That amazing little “stats” button is what is going to get me through the days where I think “Nah, I don’t need to do a blog post today, or this week, or month”. So here’s another post, with many many more to come.
Tell my husband. Darci says “I’m all in!”
And don’t forget… I’m also just a girl, writing a blog, asking for you to love her…. posts.
I’ve only told a hand full of people about this blog. I’m nervous. I am my own worst critic and I’m concerned that my writing isn’t particularly good. All of my friends and family would be very kind and probably far too generous with their critiques if I were to send the link. But I’ve told a few close friends.
This is how my interactions with people have been so far.
Me – “Hey So and So, I started a blog and I’m super excited about it”
So and So – “Awesome, what’s it about?”
Me – ..…blink…blink. “Dear god, I have no idea”
Me – “Well, it’s kinda hard to explain. I’ve got a lot of things going on that I’m wanting to write about. So I think I’ll be whittling it down as I go.
Me – “Lots of things.”
From the research I’ve done, none of these are acceptable answers in the world of successful blogging. There are so many resources out there for new bloggers. I mean, a treasure trove of info at our literal finger tips. And then you have to keep in mind successful tags and categories, and which are trending at that very second and this and that and other things and whats SEO, and I don’t know how to creat a page let alone what to put on the page. It’s intense and intimidating. But here I am. Blogging til my heart’s content. However, I did think it would be helpful if I made a list of things that I’d eventually like to focus on within this blog.
- Home and lifestyle – My husband and I recently bought a house. It was quite my style and we’re slowing working towards making it our own. We are also planning on starting a family soon but just about any legal means necessary.
- Food and Recipes – Because of a recent medical situation, our household needs to focus on more of a plant-based diet. For someone who doesn’t love veggies, it should be interesting.
- Writing and Blogging – While I’ve only been doing this for a short time, I am really enjoying it. The other night I got 2 new followers, my adrenaline was through the roof and it took hours for me to fall asleep. It is a thrill!
- App Building. I’d really like to learn how to do that. I’ve got some idea’s.
This is the short list. I could come up with lists within these lists. But that’s for another post. For the time being, I’ll just send this message into the blogosphere.
It’s been a month. One month today since the accident.
When I got the call that my brother had been in an accident. I immediately left for the hospital. It was the simultaneously the slowest and quickest drive there has ever been. I arrived, and found my way to the ICU floor. I was met by 2 nurses, later they said they knew who I was by the look on my face. They sat me down and explained the situation. It was bad, labeled as critical and life flight was used. I excused myself and waited for other family members to arrive. Later on, while at the ICU door waiting to get buzzed in, someone came up next to me. They had a loved one that had been in the ICU for a few days. I was looking down at the floor and then I heard them say “The floor here reminds me of the yellow brick road. Ya know, from the ‘Wizard of Oz?'” That’s my favorite movie. From that moment on, I thought about the similarities between the movie and the situation that we were in.
I was the Scarecrow. Asking for a brain to figure everything out. Trying to learn the medical terms, which monitors meant what, blood pressures, oxygenation, medications.
I was the Lion. Asking for courage. Courage to be strong when others couldn’t be. Courage to help my brother with the unknown. Courage to believe that everything is going to be just fine.
I was not the Tin Man. My favorite quote from the movie is “hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable” My heart has felt more this past month than perhaps my whole life combined. It has been broken, mended, but mostly filled will love and gratitude.
And then there’s my brother, J.J.. Unfortunately for him, he is a girl in this analogy. He’s Dorothy. Wanting desperately to find his way home. He’ll be there soon.
“You’ve always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself”
“Are you being sincere?” is a thought I often had when I would come upon a “Please pray for our _____” post on social media.
These “plea’s for prayers” (thats what I call them) are seeming to become ever more present. I can’t get more than one scroll down my news feed without seeing a request for prayers for a family member, dog, new job or for a stain to come out of a beloved sweater. The cynic in me rolls my eyes and keeps scrolling. Not reading as to why the prayers were requested. I, myself have never been in a situation that warranted asking the general public for their thoughts, vibes, prayers or whatever else. Until 28 days ago.
My little brother was in a terrible work accident. He is an arborist and got wrapped up in some line that pulled him into the mouth of a wood chipper. He has 2 broken femurs, severed arteries from his knee down which has led to the amputation below the knee of his right leg and has had over 107 units of blood and blood products. At this very moment he is in having his 14th surgery.
Since October 6th our family has been the recipient of what I estimate to be 1000’s of prayers, well wishes, good thoughts and vibes. Some of which were because of family members posting their very own “pleas for prayers” on social media. And as I read each and every one several times over, I not only believed it but felt it. I felt it in everything I did, wherever I was. I felt the sincerity in every letter, in every word, in every sentence.
A couple of weeks ago, a nurse came into my brother’s room with a stack of papers and asked if she could show us something. We said “of course”, and she sat down. She said “each one of the pieces of paper represent a blood product order that you received. I stopped counting at 107”. I asked her if she had ever seen that many, and she replied very quickly with a short “No”. We don’t know why or how he is still here with us, but we are very grateful that he is. And we believe that he is here because he is meant to do something powerful and great. And for that, I am very. truly. sincerely thankful for all of the prayers.
My name is Darci, and new to blogging. I’m 32 and live in the beautiful state of Maine. I asked my husband last week “if you could have any job in the world, what would it be?” and he didn’t know. He asked me the same question, and I said “a writer”. It was the first thing that came to me. I didn’t think about it, it just spilled out. As we drove along I thought about my response. What does it take to be a writer? Who decides if you’re a writer? Anyone who can spell words can write. Am I now a writer because I started a blog? Probably not, but I’m going to string some words together that hopefully make a sentence that turns into a paragraph that someone somewhere might like to read. Wish me luck!
Today is my first day blogging.
What to write about first?
Maine, moving, changing jobs, getting married, fertility issues, becoming a caregiver, family dynamics, finances. All seem to be hot topics at the forefront of my mind right now. Maybe that’s why I’m feeling claustrophobic? My brain feels cluttered and sorting through each one of the items listed above is overwhelming. As I type this and think about what to write it is becoming clearer that this is exactly what I need. An outlet, whether it be creative or more diary-esq. I’m feeling excited now, excited to work through these thoughts.